the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
