I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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