They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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