That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
we're so committed to being not committed
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