U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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