He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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