i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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