Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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