I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking out of a sandbucket again
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize