I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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