i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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