Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
