he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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