the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Randomize
