She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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