All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
