Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
my shit smells like andre
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
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Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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