Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
