I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize