im six kinds of drunk right now
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
