check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I'm getting married
To pizza
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
