non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Randomize
