With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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