are you still at the devil's house?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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