So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize