The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I just blew my weed a kiss
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
