just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
