we have officially lost it.
Screwed.edu
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
