i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
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We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
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Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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