Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
