maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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