I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
