he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
