Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Are we still banned from the library?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
