It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
