she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
