there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
