you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think your dad took our porno
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
as a side note pls kill me
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
