ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I would ride that face into the sunset
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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