Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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