Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
