Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
