O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
