two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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