If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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