i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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