How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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