made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Randomize
