What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
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