fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We have so much sex to catch up on
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
