I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
