She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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