she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
She tied me up with her honor cords...
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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