No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
