He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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