Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
