smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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