it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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