I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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