Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
