My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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