and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
this will be a night to untag.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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