You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
