i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
